Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. ~John 8:32

Tag Archives: christ


by 1 Comment

Let the Spirit Move You

Do not quench the Spirit. 1 Thessalonians 5:19

The Spirit has been at work. I have had many lessons this week. My mom shared a spirit-filled experience with me.

The other day she was at “group” and was asked by her lady friends if she’d like to have lunch. My mom was honest and told them she wasn’t “in the mood” as she is still very much grieving the loss of her husband. After “group” finished she took her car to get the oil changed. While she was there the cashier asked her why she wasn’t smiling, and if she could just give one smile. My mother replied with a level of honesty that most people avoid, “I don’t have anything to smile about right now. I just lost my husband a month ago.” The man quickly apologized.

A woman who was being helped at the front turned around towards my mother with her eyes filled with tears. She then told my mom that she just lost her husband a year ago. They shared a few things and then embraced one another.

The point is that if my mom had not been honest about not wanting to go to lunch and avoided her feelings, she would have missed this opportunity. If she had not again answered with honesty about how she really felt, she would have missed out on connecting with a complete stranger who also needed to comfort.

That’s what Jesus was all about: Relationships. Doing life together. Living in the truth. Allowing God to provide while being open to experience all the honest emotions that life throws our way.

Then my own child showed me this very same thing. I am learning a great deal from my child. As she continues through this painful journey of chemotherapy, she is showing us how to live. Every day she has another thing that she has to accept. She has feelings and fears. Her hair has started to fall out which has proven to be very difficult for her and us.

But I see her working every day. I see her fighting, physically, to recover, but more so, I see her spiritual battle, this inner working. I see her allowing God and His spirit to lead her through this battle field. She draws and writes almost every day, expressing herself through the pictures. I like to call it her art therapy.

A few days ago she drew this:

image

I was frightened when I saw it. I took myself to the bathroom and cried. She posted it to our refrigerator. Yet another lesson. Olivia is allowing all that she feels, all that she is experiencing to just happen. She’s letting the spirit direct her and it’s leading her to the  truth. I know many adults who are not able to let their feelings guide them to a place of raw honesty.

That is what our feelings do: guide us to a place of truth and surrender. It is in the acknowledgment of the truth that we are set free. Christ said it. It is the only way to surrender to God’s plan.

Since seeking recovery six yeas ago, I have been living in such a place. The truth is the only way in our home. But, I have to admit, my daughter’s mortality hanging in the front part of my mind has me wanting to hide from the truth. I have to keep myself in a constant awareness of Christ and His father, who knows all too well the fears I have over my child.

I pray that each of us allow our current circumstances to transform us. It brings purpose to the pain and draws us closer to our God. Remember He knows our temptations and our fears. Christ was fully human, but He is fully God as well, which makes Him a Savior who understands us but knows how to save us. I pray we first seek the truth and then invite the spirit into our space, allowing Christ to take control and God to change our hearts.

I pray these things in Jesus’ name, amen.


by Leave a comment

Too Heavy to Carry

Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is — his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

If someone had told me a year ago that I would be living in El Paso, I would have laughed in their face! To top that, if someone had told me two years ago that I would have a third child, be homeschooling my kids and getting ready to plant a church, I would probably have smacked them!

Just this past year my husband was finally given the go sign (that would be by me) to explore the possibility of joining the military. After a long, grueling few months of paperwork and interviews, Anthony was accepted into the United States Army as a pharmacist.

From there, our lives have been moving at rapid speed. I have to be honest — I’m totally overwhelmed! We arrived last week in El Paso and nothing has gone as planned. Complications keep arising, and my husband and I are feeling a lot of pressure. The weight of responsibility rests right on my shoulders! I literally can’t stand up straight because I’m so “heavy” with stress and worry.IMG_8837

But just today as the children and I were reading the day’s focus verse in school, I was reminded of how I need to approach all of the chaos. Jesus says that his “yoke is easy” and his “burden is light” (Matthew 11:30). I am not in control of any of the current circumstances. There is only so much that Anthony and I can do.  But isn’t that the truth? Aren’t we expected to do our part but then step aside and let God take over the rest?

When we decided to wear Christ in baptism, when we emerged from that water, we made a bold commitment that states: “When life is too heavy, we will choose to  carry only the burden of Christ.” His load is light compared to the constant, pounding pressures that the world burdens us with. After this week, it is crystal clear that I’m not strong enough to withstand the pressures of this world. Dear sisters, I am grateful. I can’t handle it — and I don’t have to. Guess what? Neither do you!

As sisters in Christ, let us boldly profess that we will not be conformed to the world’s expectations. Let us accept ourselves exactly as we are at this moment, not perfect but progressing. Let us wear the easy, smooth yoke set before us by a Savior who is in love with us!

Sarah

Sarah Apa