Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. ~John 8:32

Monthly Archives: September 2015


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Ever just need a hug?

Praise the Lord; praise God our savior! For each day he carries us in his arms. Psalm 68:19 (NLT)

HugsThis morning I experienced a little heartbreak. My husband was on his way out the door then stopped and asked me a question. Looking back I wish my answer could have just been “yes.” But I’m one of those “high maintenance” people and a one word answer is never good enough, so as is my habit, “yes” was just the tip of the iceberg of my answer. I elaborated by adding my logic and reasoning to support my “yes.” To me, the words that followed my “yes” were important, revealing, intimate and personal; something that I would only trust to my closest friend.   I thought I was being brave and loving and more open with my husband than I usually was. This was a big step for me; it’s something I’ve been striving to improve in our relationship: communication.

But instead of the loving affirmation I expected, he made a sound, like a grumble that made me think he didn’t like what I said. I asked him what was wrong and he said he did not understand me. So I tried again to explain myself and was careful to select different words and not just repeat myself. I wanted him to listen and understand this part of me that I was revealing to him. But my words weren’t getting the reaction I wanted. He appeared to be disgusted with me and I felt like he was angry at me. He sounded incredulous that I could be the way I described. It felt like he was ashamed of me. He was rejecting who I was, how I thought, and my truth. It hurt.

And he left the house shaking his head and muttering something I couldn’t hear. I stood there with a lump in my throat. Now what do I do? This was just a simple interchange between a husband and a wife, so innocent and insignificant. Why did it hurt me so much?

For one thing, after working through the eight recovery principles of Celebrate Recovery, I’m more aware of my feelings than ever before. I learned how to be still and feel my feelings rather than use food to cover them up. But I don’t like to hurt so what else can I do to ease the painful feeling?

First I said a little quick prayer, something like “Please God, help me.”   Then as I drove to work, I reviewed the facts of what happened. This exchange took place early in the morning as we were rushing to get ready to leave for work. I know that is not the ideal time for a deep, meaningful conversation. He asked a simple yes or no question and I made the choice to provide a lengthy response. Maybe he didn’t reject me, but just didn’t have time to listen and respond the way he wanted to?

Still I held on to the hurt and felt like I needed a hug. Then I remembered that God delights in me (Psalm 18:19) and wants to care for me like a mother hen protects her chicks under her wings (Matthew 23:37). So many times over the five decades of my life I have needed a hug and didn’t know how to ask for one. But God had his arms wrapped around me the whole time!

Ramona2

Ramona Taylor


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Are You on Team Grumblers or Team Grateful?

The Lord spread a cloud above them as a covering and gave them a great fire to light the darkness. They asked for meat, and he sent them quail; he satisfied their hunger with manna — bread from heaven. Psalm 105:39-40 (NLT)

bread-baked - blue cloth-hands-reducedCan you imagine getting up in the morning and finding that God has already prepared your breakfast? If I could see the manna spread out over the grass in my yard, not only would I be thinking, “Oh, wow, somebody else did the prep today!” but also, “Yay, no cleanup!”

However, I suspect that if I had to eat the same thing every morning for the foreseeable future, I’d be right there on the bench with the Israelite Team Grumblers. I’m not exactly into the whole let-somebody-else-decide-what-to-eat-every-morning thing, especially if it’s a constant diet of bread with nary a jar of jelly in sight!

What I am definitely into, though, is the thought that my God loves me enough to provide for my every need. That’s an awesome reality that I too often forget.

I don’t have to see manna spread on the ground every day to know that I cannot provide for my own needs, but it would certainly be a constant reminder. I desperately need to keep my mind centered on God and his never failing provision for me. Sadly, I often ignore the daily reminders he sends.

And it’s not just food he provides. He does that in great abundance, but he does so much more. As Nehemiah 9:19-21 tells us, “Because of your great compassion you did not abandon them in the wilderness. By day the pillar of cloud did not fail to guide them on their path, nor the pillar of fire by night to shine on the way they were to take. You gave your good Spirit to instruct them. You did not withhold your manna from their mouths, and you gave them water for their thirst. For forty years you sustained them in the wilderness; they lacked nothing ….”

Even when we’re more like the Israelites than we’re willing to admit, he is faithful to give us everything we need. Not only does he provide for all our physical needs, he also gives us His good Spirit, he has great compassion on us, he lights our way, he never fails us, he never abandons us. In other words, we lack nothing.

When we stay focused on His unlimited provision for us, we can quit grumbling and put on our Team Grateful jerseys!

Father, forgive me when I grumble and complain. Help me to be grateful and praise you always for each blessing you shower on me. In the name of your precious Son, Jesus, Amen.

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Beautiful Pain

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18

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She was born in mid-September at the Med in downtown Memphis. It was fast. She looked perfect. But hidden just beneath the surface was a tiny heart that was, oh, so broken!

Olivia Ann.

She has suffered more pain than most would ever endure in a lifetime. But like Jesus, her pain was not in vain. She had a very complicated heart defect. It required many surgeries that held no guarantees. By the time she was two years old, her tiny, fragile heart could no longer keep pace with her growing body, and she was placed on the heart transplant list.

Like Olivia’s heart, broken and underdeveloped, my spiritual heart was in the same condition. It wasn’t long after she entered the world that I began to understand some of the characteristics of God that my pain had kept me from seeing.

You see, I was broken from my childhood—scarred from abuse and living in a constant state of torment. I carried with me the pain that I had suffered and the choices I had made based on that abuse. Being witness to Olivia’s life and watching God faithfully restore her with a heart transplant gave me insight into why suffering is a beautiful part of life.

Jesus’s suffering on the cross was tremendous, bloody, the worst. Yet the beauty found just outside that pain is awesome, cleansing, the best. It’s life wrapped up in the highest of glory.

Olivia’s surgeries were terrifying, gruesome, the worst. But worth all the agony. She’s alive because of them. Her pain was my calling from God. His outpouring to reach me. I believe it was His attempt to restore my heart as well.

It’s been six years since Olivia received her new heart. After years of walking hand in hand with Christ through the pain of my childhood, I have discovered the deep connection between tremendous, life-changing pain, the daily pain of dying to yourself, and the gospel. Paul says it best in Romans 8:17: since we are “co-heirs with Christ,” we can experience his sufferings and share in the glory of that suffering!

I want to be transformed through the pains of life. That transformation brings purpose to the pain. As Philippians 3:10 says: “I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participate in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death….”

Sarah Apa

Sarah Apa


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Jumping Off the Wheel

“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” Matthew 6:24

Do you ever feel like “a confused hamster”? Would you like to get off that wheel?

girl-headphones-reducedWhen our boys were young, we went to a science museum that had an exhibit about sound. I sat in a booth and put on a set of headphones in which a different person was speaking on each side. No matter how hard I tried, I could not listen to both people at the same time. Our brains simply don’t work that way. I could listen to one side and then the other, but not both at the same time.

In Boundaries for Leaders by Henry Cloud, he states, “The research says when we multitask, our brains run in a hampered state. Basically multitasking reduces an astronaut’s brain to that of a confused hamster.”

One morning I was feeling particularly stressed and the day had only just begun. I wondered why reading the Bible verse on my bathroom mirror wasn’t helping. Then I saw myself in the mirror. I was brushing my teeth with one hand and brushing my hair with the other. I immediately put down my hairbrush and slowed down, thankful that I hadn’t confused the brushes!

When we try to keep our eyes on Jesus and on the evil one at the same time, we fall short. Our Lord wants our full attention, as does any loving father. The evil one wants to divert our attention from our Father. Nothing makes him happier than drawing us away from God’s will for our lives.

Let’s make a commitment right now that we will not give him a foothold by trying to divide our attention between him and Him. Jesus deserves our full attention. His heart pines for us to look toward Him so that He can lead us closer to our Father.

Cindy

Cindy Phiffer