Today I am home alone. I seldom get the chance to be alone so this time is very precious to me. It’s wonderful. I’m listening to the sounds of silence, or as close as I can get to silence without leaving home! I can hear the heating system blowing. My dog barks occasionally but mostly it’s just the sound of his breathing as he sleeps squeezed in between my right leg and the arm of the chair. Sometimes I hear a car or truck drive down the street. Today, I can hear what I’d call “construction noise” although I can’t see anything going on here on my street. It’s only vague sounds of motors and hammering and an indiscernible yell every now and then. All that is in the background and does not disturb me. This silence is so peaceful and quiet.
I miss this kind of silence when it’s covered up by the noise of televisions, computers or appliances. Most of the time I’m with other people and both of us are using some noisy audio device that covers the silence. And if there’s talking, it’s usually with noisy devices blaring in the background. If I need to communicate and make sure we have an understanding or “meeting of the minds,” it’s best for me that I request all noisy devices be turned off.
I’m disturbed and distracted by noise. For some reason, my brain has trouble focusing on the task in front of me when there’s noise to listen to. Voices are especially distracting to me. I don’t mean to eavesdrop, but my ears seem to pick up conversations that were not intended for me. Not that I always hear something worth repeating, but I seem to pick up information that tempts me to gossip. I’m working to overcome that somewhat acceptable and usually enjoyable sin.
Another big distraction for me is the Internet and social media. I have accounts on Facebook and Twitter, but I don’t often post anything. The big appeal for me is to read what everyone else is posting. I know it’s an illusion, but it’s like I’m keeping up with what’s going on in the world by reading all the posts. In addition to the news of the world, it feels like I stay informed about people I haven’t seen or talked to in months or maybe even years. It gives me a false sense of having continuing relationships with childhood friends, school friends, relatives I only see at reunions, people from places I used to work, churches I used to attend, neighbors I’ve moved away from, and even “famous” people I’ve never even met!. I see a picture in which they are tagged and feel like I just made a real connection with them and have a special, unique insight into their life. Like I said, it’s an illusion, not reality and only serves to keep me from doing other things that are much more important; real life and real relationships. I’m grateful for the clarity that comes when I can sit in the silence and focus on the real truth and whatever needs to be done.
A line from one of my favorite psalms is “Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him.” (Psalm 37:7) Patience is not easy for me so I have to feel like I’m doing something. My favorite thing to do while I’m trying to be patient is to sit in the silence and read the Bible and pray. I’ve always heard people use the first line of Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God” as support for spending time alone with God; for having a daily quiet time to commune with the Lord; for time of devotion and prayer. The Nelson Study Bible comments that this “stillness before the Lord is not a preparation for worship, but for impending judgment…” and how “all the earth will bow before [God]” as it says in the following verses. That’s a good reminder for me that this is serious business and it’s very important for me to remember the awesomeness of my God. I can just imagine the deep, powerful, booming voice saying “I am who I am” (Exodus 3:14.) That kind of gets lost on me when I’m surrounded by the noise of life. But it comes through loud and clear when I’m immersed in silence.
Another scripture I think of when I get to sit in the silence is 1 Kings 19:11-12 where God encouraged a lonely, depressed and scared for his life Elijah by appearing to him as a fierce wind, an earthquake, a fire and finally what’s usually interpreted as a “still small voice.” My Nelson Study Bible commentary offers the phrase “the sound of a gentle stillness” as how God revealed Himself. Those words just bring peace to my soul. God can show himself in power or in powerlessness. God is in control of it all. And knowing that brings me comfort.
Oh? I’ve been attracted to memes all my life and didn’t realize it. I especially remember back in high school when I had posters plastered all over my bedroom walls. They were mostly outdoor scenes and cute animal pictures with pithy sayings that made me smile and feel good. And now I collect internet memes by saving them to My Photos on my iPhone. I like some funny ones, but mostly I save memes that make me stop and think.
The Oxford Dictionary says the word “meme” originated in the 1970’s from the Greek word “mimema” which means “that which is imitated.” The definition from Wikipedia says a meme is “an idea, behavior, or style that spreads from person to person within a culture.”
right and just and fair; for giving prudence to those who are simple, knowledge and discretion to the young—let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance—for understanding proverbs and parables, the sayings and riddles of the wise.” (Proverbs 1:2-6 NIV)
It’s great for when I’m a little worried or feeling down but don’t have a lot of time to search the Bible or to call someone. I just start scrolling through my pictures and I don’t have to go very far before one sparks a memory about somebody or starts a deeper thought process and I start praying.
The mobile Bible app called “YouVersion” includes a built in menu option to make your own memes from any Bible verse. The app calls it making “Verse Images.” You can make a meme and then save it to your phone or share with social media.
But instead of bubbling with anticipation of Santa’s visit, I’m sitting here with a headache because I haven’t had breakfast yet. I can’t eat until after I have my blood drawn for a fasting blood test And I’m making my headache worse by worrying about whether or not my plans for all the holiday parties, gifts, and travel are going to work out. I’m letting my mind spend too much time on earthly things and that will get me into trouble.
I have a life-long habit of abusing food, and even if you don’t have an issue with food, maybe you can relate to my struggle with lack of self-discipline in another area. I belong to Christ but my flesh still desires too much harmful food and not enough exercise. It seems to me that I have failed to take that next step and surrender all my fleshly desires; specifically I’m holding on to foods that comfort me and help me tolerate stressful and anxious times.
And this time of year when everyone is baking special treats, sharing meals and celebrating with food, I’m really stretching my self-control to its limit. When I don’t have the structured routine of going to my job every week day for work, I’m in danger of following my fleshly desires to lie on the couch, watch TV and snack on potato chips.
I was sick and tired of my parents controlling my life. It seemed like I’d been having one long argument with my father as long as I could remember. I thought the only way to get out from under the tyrannical oppression was to hurry up, get a college degree, and start earning my own money.
Still, if I really take time to stop and study it, my son reminds me of myself a lot. We look alike and we both are strong-willed. But in the heat of the moment I don’t seem to be able to find any empathy. Afterwards, when I’m calm, I can re-play the situation and identify with my son even though he insists I have no idea what life is like for him. But in the middle of our conversations when I’m angry and worried about him, I can easily forget how sensitive and intelligent my child is. And I forget how fragile all relationships are and how harsh words can shatter our connection.
So, the reality is that my son is 18 years old, and he’s registered in the Selective Service System with over 16 million other men potentially subject to being drafted into the United States military. He is an adult with adult responsibilities whether I like it or not.
keepitsimplesweetie.org 