Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. ~John 8:32

Author Archives: Cindy Phiffer


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Sewing the Seed of Unity

I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought. 1 Corinthians 1:10

united we stand            This month we celebrate the United States of America. Although 1 Corinthians 1:10 was in a letter to the leaders of a church, it made me think of just how divided we’ve become as a country. Sometimes the idea of unity in America seems impossible, but let’s talk about a few ways we can encourage unity within the land of the free and the home of the brave.

  1. Listen to someone who is different from you. By listen, I don’t mean to simply be silent as we decide what we’re going to say next. I mean pay attention to what he or she is saying. By truly listening to another, we may learn about specific needs that call for prayer either at the time or later. Learning how to pray for someone may put us in a position to minister to the person.
  1. Speak in a civil tone of voice. I have often heard the saying, “I can’t hear what she’s saying because of how she’s saying it.” Coming to unity requires a certain level of respect for each other. In my job, I answer the phone and often the person on the other end is upset. If I become upset, the conversation can easily escalate until nothing good is accomplished. However, if I remain on an even keel…even praying silently for the other person…we often come to agreement. And God only knows the impact the prayer has.
  1. As we drift off to sleep at night, we can pray for God to make divine appointments for us the following day. These are times when we “just happen” to run into or connect with someone who shares a need or a blessing with us. Maybe it turns out that we’re from the same neck of the woods or we both played the oboe in college. That connection may be just what the person needs to allow us into their circle of trust.
  1. Be open to learning something new. Just because two people disagree on one topic doesn’t mean that they have nothing to learn from each other. Sometimes I leave a conversation thinking, I remember acting like that in a conversation last month. I never want to act like that again. Or I might think, Lord, help me to pass on the grace he showed me in that discussion.
  1. Practice allowing the other person to have the last word. At times we need to ask ourselves whether it’s more important to be right or to salvage a relationship or a potential relationship. Seeds that have just been sown need time to take root and grow. Give the other person time to process your point of view.

We can all use more intelligent, reasonable interaction. Try putting these tips to use and let us know how it goes. Who knows? We may start a trend that brings us back to being “one nation under God.”


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Teaching and Learning

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 15:1

I'm not a teacherSeveral years ago, I co-taught a Sunday school class for two- and three-year-old children. The lead teacher, we’ll just call her Helen, had lots of experience and many activities up her sleeve from years of working with children, including homeschooling her own.

One Sunday when it was Helen’s turn to teach the lesson, she taught all of us the above verse complete with hand motions. The children loved whispering “A gentle answer” with their hands cupped around their mouths, they thoroughly enjoyed screwing up their faces and spitting out “a harsh word,” and they wildly stirred for “stirs up.” As for me, even though I had read the verse before, it was as though I was hearing it for the first time.

This brings me to several life lessons I learned from this experience.

  1. Volunteer to teach. You will learn at least as much from your students as they learn from you.
  2. Pay attention to children. Sometimes they speak the unadulterated truth, rather than the edited truth that we learn to speak as adults.
  3. Be brave enough to learn hand motions to Scripture or Scripture put to music. It will help you commit it to memory, the same as it helps children to do so.
  4. Pay attention to the Old Testament, just as you pay attention to the New Testament. Both contain truths that are crucial to our development as mature Christians.
  5. Protect your quiet time with the Lord. Just as He spoke to the writers of Scripture, He will speak to you through Scripture. The catch is that we have to be still and know that He is God. When we allow the world to fill our senses, we cannot hear the important messages that He has for us. So turn off the television, put down the cell phone and yes, even step away from the computer and listen for His voice. He will honor your obedience.

when one teaches, two learnTeaching can be a great source of learning! So the next time they ask for volunteers to teach at your church, step up. The children will benefit and so will you.

 

 


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Encourage One Another

Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
1 Thessalonians 5:11

On April 1st, I listened as my coworker giggled about others pranking their friends. She doesn’t have a mean bone in her body, but she is a playful adult who loves to laugh. I waited until she left her desk for a few minutes and took the opportunity to turn around most of her desktop supplies.

Then I watched while she found her wrist pad, mouse, tape dispenser, even her Snoopy figurine facing backwards. As she discovered each item, she laughed, saying things like, “You’re such a prankster!” and “That’s a good one!” It was as though, by picking up on her clues, I was letting her know that I appreciate her sense of humor and that I listen to her, even when it’s about something as silly as a prank.

friendliness-kind word like a spring dayThere have also been times when her mood wasn’t playful at all. In fact, during solemn times of trouble and sorrow, she has shared with me about friends who are struggling with sick children or marital brokenness or unsuccessful surgery. At those times, I’ve unplugged myself from my phone and walked over to pat her on the shoulder or give her a heart-felt hug.

During other times, she has been the encourager, standing behind a decision I’ve made or keeping a confidence I’ve shared or crying with me over financial struggles, parenting missteps or faith challenges. Her compassion has carried me through some difficult personal woes that otherwise might have threatened my job.

In times like ours, we might look at what Christians are facing worldwide and think, Who am I to seek encouragement? I’m not in fear of physical torment, imprisonment or corporal punishment because of my faith.

Before we belittle our own woes in the light of others’ problems, let’s look again at the Scripture above. Notice that it doesn’t say, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing, as long as the trouble is serious enough.” Neither does it say, “After you’ve judged the other’s experience and deemed it worthy of encouragement…” It simply says, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”

Let’s ask ourselves a few questions.

  • When did I last encourage another? If I can’t remember, the answer is “too long ago.”
  • Why is it easier for me to find fault than it is to build another up? If I am afraid to be an encourager, I’m listening to the wrong voice. I will seek God in others.
  • Am I known as an encourager (“just as in fact you are doing”)? If others avoid me, I will take a hard look at the reason this is so.
  • Does jealousy ever cause me to shame someone? I will tend to my own knitting, as my grandmother, Mimi, used to say. The Holy Spirit may prick someone’s heart. I will leave that job to Him.
  • Am I honest in my encouragement? Being an encourager doesn’t mean to lie. Others will pick up on shallow praise. At the same time, calling another to be her best self may not be easy, but it should result in the person leaning into Jesus, not away from Him.

smile-girl smilingYou know, Christianity wouldn’t be nearly as challenging if we didn’t have to deal with human beings! But we are called to come together, loving one another as He has loved us. Does that sound impossible? Start small if you have to. Find someone this week who needs a smile and give her yours. You just might find it downright rewarding.

 


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In God I Trust

In God, whose word I praise—in God I trust and am not afraid.
What can mere mortals do to me?
Psalm 56:4

In this election season, we have been inundated with information, both true and false, about all of the candidates. Debates, some of which have turned into yelling matches, fill our screens and minds.

As one after the other candidate does his or her best to win our votes, I have often been left feeling fearful. What does all of this back and forth mean for the future of our country? What does it mean to me? How will our country survive if so-and-so wins?

These types of thoughts remind me of what happens when I take my eyes off of God. I am not fearful when I’m singing in the choir at church. Nor am I afraid when I read His word about leading the Israelites out of bondage. But when I turn over my well being to one candidate or another, then I am scared.

vote for me-reducedTo hear the Presidential candidates tell it, our world will not survive unless we cast the correct vote. While I take my voting responsibility seriously, I beg to differ with this type of fear mongering.

As long as God is on His throne (which shall be forever), “in God I trust and am not afraid.”

It is tempting to give ourselves over to wailing and gnashing of teeth, especially when our daily lives are impacted by the policies that each candidate touts. But I’m wondering what would happen if we spent as much time studying the Bible as we do listening to the arguments of men and women, all of whom have something to gain by the outcome of their persuasive tactics.

As the psalmist so eloquently puts it, when I praise God’s word, “what can mere mortals do to me?”

Many times in Scripture, we are told that if we place our trust in God, we have nothing to fear. When we allow the evil one control of our hearts and minds, fear runs rampant and we lose the ability to reason and our discussion devolves into slings and arrows.

Just think how different the political landscape might be if debates actually centered around how each candidate will guide the nation toward the light. Regardless of what is being said, what if we listen with an ear toward God’s will for us? It might not change the nature of the debate but it will surely change the way we feel about what is being said.

When we tremble in fear at the sound of the rabble rousers, we are left powerless against them. Let’s not give away our power. Our country and our neighbors need us standing for what is right, and our God expects it.

Now and forever, our God reigns! Once we stand on that promise, there is no room for fear.

So this week, I challenge us as thinking, caring, passionate women of God to keep Him and his promises in mind when we are rehashing public debate. Rather than agonizing over what could happen if this one or that one wins, let’s encourage each other to raise our own standards and remember whose we are.

We might support a certain candidate or party, but we do not “belong” to one party or the other. We belong to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. As long as we are His, we have nothing to fear.


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God Is Love

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.  1 John 4:8

 

Do you have trouble loving others during worship on Sunday morning?

I know I don’t, but in the car on the way home can be a different story altogether.

Me: “Let’s go somewhere for lunch.”

My husband: “I’d really rather go home. I’m tired.”

Me: “You’re always tired.”

My husband: “You’re one to talk after last night.”

Me: “How dare you bring up last night?!”

I’ll let you use your imagination to finish that conversation. Hint: It does not go well.

cloud-600224 copyAs we head into the love month that includes Valentine’s Day, our thoughts turn to love. Although the world does its best to define love as something that can be bought, is found under the sheets or expressed with chocolate (and I do so love me some chocolate!), 1 John 4:4-21 is a lesson in true love, pure love.

In this passage, we learn the following:

  • God is love;
  • God loved us so much that He sent His Son to die so that we might live;
  • Because God loves us, we should love each other;
  • If we love each other, God is in us and His love is made complete in us;
  • We can rely on God’s love for us, giving us “confidence on the day of judgment”;
  • “There is no fear in love”;
  • “Perfect love drives out fear”;
  • We love others because God loved us first; and
  • Whoever loves God must also love their brothers and sisters.

There is not much wiggle room in this chapter. It does not say, “God loves us because we’re so good” or “It’s up to you to decide if a brother or sister deserves love.” It does not say, “God loves us most of the time but hates us when we sin” or “Try to be nice and God will live in you.”

This chapter basically says that God is love, through His love for His Son He lives in us and we are to love one another because He loved us first. Period.

That may not fit on a candy heart but it is something that is worth celebrating during this month of love.

chocolate-candy-995135 copySo if love is not candy, flowers or scantily clad people making out on television, what does love look like?

  • Love is the parents who are in church with their children.
  • Love is the brother who feeds the homeless with no thought of reward or thanks.
  • Love is the teenager who stands up against the student who is bullying another student.
  • Love is letting the other person go in front of you with a smile in the check-out lane.
  • Love is saying no when a child or a friend needs a boundary.
  • Love is not having to have the last word.
  • Love is standing in the gap by lifting someone in prayer.

All of this may sound like a tall order. But if we just focus on this moment, we can give and receive love one person at a time. And if anyone asks, I wouldn’t mind a little chocolate thrown in for good measure.

 

 


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Be Kind

Be kind and compassionate to one another,
forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32def

On the past two New Year’s Days, I have chosen a word to focus on throughout the year. Because I needed to, I chose the same word both years—intentional. I think I’m ready for a new word for this new year, and I’ve chosen the word kindness.

I have the most trouble with those I love the most and spend the most time with—my family members. Several years ago during a parent-teacher meeting for one of my sons, the teacher complained that he was extremely sarcastic with her at times. Her comment cut me to the core. At once, I could hear myself responding to my husband and my sons sarcastically, using humor to cover a multitude of sins.

SONY DSCThat day I began to listen to myself. As a young child, our son, Josh, was diagnosed with Oppositional-Defiant Disorder (ODD). A counselor told us raising him was going to be like guiding a surly, disobedient teenager who had less than half the maturity of a teenager. Now a fine adult who spreads God’s love through music, Josh was willfully noncompliant as a child. He had fits of rage and I was often the target of his anger.

During the time we were trying to find someone who was able, willing and knowledgeable about what was going on with Josh, a counselor suggested that we record one of his episodes. One evening at bedtime, one of the worst times of day for us, I put a voice-activated recorder in my robe pocket, steeled myself for the inevitable confrontation awaiting me and opened the door to his bedroom.

In the forty minutes that followed, I was called hateful names that no mother should hear, I dodged blocks hurled at me and I tried desperately to coral him into bed. In all of the bedlam, I completely forgot about the recorder in my pocket until I took my robe off to finally get into my own bed.

“Let’s hear if it caught any of that,” I said to my husband, hitting the Play button. I was not prepared for what I heard.

The recorder had captured my son’s wrath. It had also captured my own.

Oh, I didn’t call him names or heave insults at him. But the tone of my voice could have curdled milk. “Get over here,” I growled at him at one point, and “I’d be ashamed,” at another. The words I hissed at him through gritted teeth were filled with venom and—dare I say it?—hatred.

Some have said I had every reason to be angry and I agree. But I was the adult. It was my responsibility to control myself, even in the face of great difficulty. I also realized that my anger had turned into resentment and was spilling over on all who loved me.

After that experience, I changed my tune. When I was tempted to respond with sarcasm or bitterness, I quickly adjusted my attitude and reframed my comments as statements or questions. For example, when my husband said, “This casserole might be good with pork instead of chicken,” I checked the urge to say, “Great idea, genius! You can make it that way when you cook it.” Instead, I said, “That’s a good idea. I’ll try that.”

It wasn’t easy and I wasn’t always successful, but when I was able to build up instead of tearing down my relationships, they grew stronger and healthier. The environment at home became more of a safe haven and less of a combat zone. I’m still not the perfect wife and mother, but I have progressed by leaps and bounds, and the relationships with my husband, my sons and their loved ones reflect the progress that practice has produced.

Dear God, help me to practice kindness to all, especially those who are closest to me. Remind me that honesty does not require cruelty and that words can wound just as they can inspire. May I always partner with you, whether I am crafting a sentence or cooking a meal. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

 


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5 Tips for a Season of Peace

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Colossians 3:15

The fact that Thanksgiving comes during the month preceding our celebration of the birth of Christ reminds me of the importance of our gratitude for our Savior. Often, we focus our attention on what we want from our Lord, and then we approach Him with a laundry list of wants and needs, perhaps only afterwards remembering to thank God for being who He is.

We are instructed to model our prayers after the one that Jesus gave us, the one we call The Lord’s Prayer. In it, the first thing Jesus says is “Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.” If our Savior praises our Father first, so should we.

During this month, there are many reasons to be in conflict: over-commitment, financial over-extension, unfulfilled expectations, confusion, traffic jams…the list goes on.

Here are a few ways to ease the stress of the season so we can be called to peace.

  1. Just say no. Try not to schedule more than one event per day. However, when you must, try to also schedule time for a nap or at least to put up your feet.
  2. Pay by cash, check or debit card rather than credit card. This will help keep spending to a reasonable level. Be sure to put aside God’s portion before starting to shop. This will help prevent using His portion to finance overspending.
  3. Give without expectation of receiving. What you choose to give you will not resent if kept within reasonable limits and if given freely. It can, however, be uncomfortable for the receiver who is taken by surprise. It is perfectly acceptable to say to the receiver, “Let’s make a time for me to drop by. I have a little something I want you to have. It reminded me of you the moment I saw it.”
  4. Make room for your quiet time with the Lord. This is always important and never more so than at this time of year.
  5. Take time to plan. List and order your responsibilities for the day. Lay out a route in your mind using back streets where possible. This will help avoid excessive traffic and frenzied drivers.

Let us remember to praise God first and foremost, offering our hearts and allegiance to the One who is love and His Son who is love personified. If we approach our world as we do our God, we will ultimately live in peace with our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Dear God, We love you so much and thank you for always inviting us to your throne. We praise you for the seasons of celebration at this time of year. Help us to keep things in perspective and to keep our priorities in order. Let us keep our eyes on you so that we may resist the many temptations of the enemy. Bless us with the peace that passes understanding and we will give you the glory. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.


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Give Thanks IN All Circumstances

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Has anyone ever misquoted scripture to you? Perhaps you were the one who passed along something as scripture that wasn’t in the Bible, such as:

“Cleanliness is next to godliness.” John Wesley

“Money is the root of all evil.” (“For the love of money is the root of all evil…” 1 Timothy 6:10)

“This too shall pass.” Confucious

First Thessalonians 5:18 is often misquoted as follows: “Give thanks for all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ.” You may wonder what the big deal is about changing one tiny word. In fact, you may have missed which word was changed. Notice that the verse correctly reads “Give thanks in all circumstances,” not for all circumstances.

What difference does it make?

Imagine that you have just lost a child to leukemia. Thanking God for this circumstance might sound like this: “Thank you, Father, for leukemia. I’m so grateful that my child died of it.” Thanking God in this circumstance might sound like this: “My heart is broken, God. I don’t understand why this happened, but I ask you to use this to draw me closer to your side. May others see you in my life as I allow you to lead me through this valley of the shadow of death.”

The first response could actually result in putting a wedge of resentment and a root of bitterness into someone’s heart. We must be careful to speak where the Bible speaks and be silent where the Bible is silent.

woman-praise-reducedDuring this season of thanksgiving, let’s think about a few ways to be thankful in all circumstances, even those that are most difficult…especially those that are most difficult.

  1. Do you have to work on Thanksgiving? If you can’t be thankful for your job, be thankful that God is holding you in the palm of His hand, and He never takes a day off.
  2. Is extra time with family causing extra stress? If you can’t be thankful for your loved ones, be thankful that you have space between you and them during the other 51 weeks of the year.
  3. Are you concerned about financial matters during the holidays? If you can’t be thankful for what you have, be thankful for that from which the Lord has shielded you.
  4. Has someone betrayed your trust? If you can’t be thankful for your friend, be thankful for the One who will never betray us—Jesus.
  5. Have you overcommitted during this season of gatherings and opportunities to serve? If you can’t be thankful for all of the noise and confusion, be thankful for those rare quiet moments in between.

Won’t you please pray with me now?

Dear God, I love you so much and praise you for who You are. Thank you for holding me close today and during the other 364 days of the year. Thank you for space between loved ones and for all that you’ve protected me from this day, this week, this month and this year. Thank you for my good and loyal friend and brother, Jesus, and for your comforting Holy Spirit. Thank you for moments of serenity amidst the confusion. Help me to be kind and patient and forgive me when I’m not. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Cindy

Cindy Phiffer


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Five Ways to Be Still and Know

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
Psalm 46:10

I often read the first part of the verse above and respond in one of the following ways.

  • “But I’m so willing to help you, Father, and you know how much there is to be done.”
  • “I will, as soon as I finish this important task.”
  • “Oh, just wait until you hear. I’m doing so much less than usual. This time last week I had seven major projects in the works. I’ve cut that back to only three. I’ll be able to take a break as soon as those are under control.”
  • “It’s obvious that you’re referring to worldly efforts. What I’m doing is the work of your church.”
  • “Ok. But just let me tell you one more thing. My cousin needs comforting…oh, and my friend has that test coming up…and don’t forget my sister’s request for your intervention…”

Do any of these sound familiar to you? If so, I hope it helps to know that you’re not alone. Let’s not despair. Just keep reading for ways to change unhealthy habits.

Be Still and KnowIf we could still our minds long enough to hear God’s entire thoughts in this verse we would learn that not only does He want me to allow Him to be God, He goes on to say that when we do, He is “exalted among the nations…”

When I am in the throes of conflict, temptation, or depression it is hard for me to trust God to be in charge. As is said in 12-step programs, one of the most powerful things we can do is to “Let go and let God.”

But our culture demands that we be ever productive, striving toward first one goal and then another. After all, we don’t want to be a burden on others by not carrying our own weight. How can we possibly “be still” when we have so many responsibilities?

Here are a few ways to clear the path toward regular periods of stillness.

  1. Share the joy of service. When I call upon a loved one to serve alongside me, I am offering her the chance to experience the satisfaction that comes with a life well lived. I suffer from infrequent bouts of positional vertigo. At times it interferes with my driving. One day I called a sister-in-Christ to see if she could take me to a doctor’s appointment. When explaining to me that she could not she thanked me for asking her. I got off the phone feeling better than when I was dialing her number, filled with the dread of asking. I quickly dialed another sister’s number before the evil one could dissuade me. She would be happy to take me, she said, then she thanked me for asking.
  2. Think in bite-size portions of time. Sometimes I can talk myself out of doing something because I try to take on too much at once. If I tell myself that my quiet time with God has to last an hour to be worth anything to Him, I’m buying into one of the lies the evil one uses to isolate me from God. Even if I’m in the middle of an important assignment at work, I can often take a few seconds to close my eyes, take a deep breath and repeat the above verse in my mind. This not only allows me a moment to center my focus on Him, it can also result in better performance of my job.
  3. Step away from the distractions of this world. Treat yourself to time without the television, iPod or cell phone so that you can listen for the Holy Spirit’s urgings. There is nothing inherently evil about any of these forms of communication, but they distract us from our goal when we set apart time to be still.
  4. Be intentional and make quiet time a priority. We schedule dentist appointments, car maintenance and lunch dates. Why not schedule our quiet time with the Lord? Of course, simply entering QT into our calendars won’t guarantee that we make these meetings. It will then be up to us to defend and protect that commitment against potential intruders and usurpers. It is up to us to show up.
  5. Think about what is keeping you from being still. Are you afraid to trust our God to take care of things while you’re off duty? Are you in fear of missing an “important” deadline? Are you terrified that you might find out that you are not the one in control? Fear can rob us of our joy. Put your foot down and remind yourself that the God who set the stars in the sky and the earth on its axis is big enough to handle any of our fears, even those thrown at us by the evil one.

 

Now say the verse above and wallow in the promise in the second part. If we focus on Him alone and are confident in His role as God, we will change the world. We don’t have to understand how this will work itself out; we just have to be obedient and take Him at His word.

Dear God, I love you and praise you for being who you are and for loving me as I am while calling me to greater heights. Give me the courage and the willingness to trust you completely. Thank you for using me to impact others. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Cindy

Cindy Phiffer


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Jumping Off the Wheel

“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” Matthew 6:24

Do you ever feel like “a confused hamster”? Would you like to get off that wheel?

girl-headphones-reducedWhen our boys were young, we went to a science museum that had an exhibit about sound. I sat in a booth and put on a set of headphones in which a different person was speaking on each side. No matter how hard I tried, I could not listen to both people at the same time. Our brains simply don’t work that way. I could listen to one side and then the other, but not both at the same time.

In Boundaries for Leaders by Henry Cloud, he states, “The research says when we multitask, our brains run in a hampered state. Basically multitasking reduces an astronaut’s brain to that of a confused hamster.”

One morning I was feeling particularly stressed and the day had only just begun. I wondered why reading the Bible verse on my bathroom mirror wasn’t helping. Then I saw myself in the mirror. I was brushing my teeth with one hand and brushing my hair with the other. I immediately put down my hairbrush and slowed down, thankful that I hadn’t confused the brushes!

When we try to keep our eyes on Jesus and on the evil one at the same time, we fall short. Our Lord wants our full attention, as does any loving father. The evil one wants to divert our attention from our Father. Nothing makes him happier than drawing us away from God’s will for our lives.

Let’s make a commitment right now that we will not give him a foothold by trying to divide our attention between him and Him. Jesus deserves our full attention. His heart pines for us to look toward Him so that He can lead us closer to our Father.

Cindy

Cindy Phiffer