Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. ~John 8:32

Tag Archives: motherhood


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“Moms” the Word

 

This past week, social media was flooded with mommy videos, that include, “what mom really wants for mother’s day”, funny mom stories, and my favorite, the tear jerking videos that reveal the truths about all the mommies of the world. Each video, whether it was a satire or heart felt, hold the same common truth about moms. We will do just about anything for our kids even when it makes us crazy.

I always enjoy my mother’s day. My husband and children go to great lengths to show me they love and appreciate me (I’m glad it’s a forced day to do so otherwise, I’m not sure it would ever happen). My favorite part of mother’s day is honoring the mothers in my life. I have the most incredible sisters and mom; they are true gems to me. Being far away from them is hard but my appreciation for each of them travels the miles.

Each of my sisters at some point, have been a mother to my children, “Just as a nursing mother cares for her children,” 1Thess. 2:7.  My older sister Megan took my eldest daughter, Natalie, every time Olivia had a surgery. I didn’t have to ask. She just expected that Natalie would be hers for the following weeks of surgery and recovery. What my sister did for me was give me the gift of peace of mind. Natalie was loved on and well taken care of when I needed to be at the recovery bed of my sick one. She was mom when I couldn’t be.

Fast forward a few years, when Olivia was diagnosed with PTLD in December. Both my sisters, Erin and Carissa (married to my 2 younger brothers) took turns taking care of Oliver and when the time came that we needed to focus on Olivia’s treatment, Erin and my brother Kevin took Oliver home with them. Again, peace of mind, and I knew he would be well taken care of, well fed, and well loved. Again, how do you repay someone who took over your most precious holy work?

My own mother has given her life to all five of us kids, “But his mother treasured all these things in her heart.” Luke 2:51.  Whenever we were going through crisis with our Olivia, my mom was a rock I could count on. The sky was the limit as to what she did to support Anthony and me and our family. She is the first example of Christ that I had in my life.966064_10151607615249933_2100377279_o

I deeply believe that women have been endowed with one of the greatest gifts given to mankind, the ability to be a mother. Every woman has been micro-chipped with instincts and sacrifice. It’s not a curse, it’s an honor. Not every woman is able to bear life; but to raise life up to glorify Him, YES! All women are called to do that. Some of us have the honor to feel life and have biological children, but our motherhood should not stop there, it should extend out to the whole world. It is our duty to be mothers to all the children of the world.

“Adam named his wife Eve, because she would become the mother of all the living.” Genesis 3:20.

A mother’s love is mighty and can help heal hearts. A mother’s love is rich; it sacrifices until the job is done. A mother’s love is universal; it has no bounds to one language. Her love speaks for itself.

I have many mommy friends that have given me incredible examples of being a universal mom. When they have been unable to conceive, they have traveled many miles, sometimes to China or Korea to be a mother to a child who doesn’t have one. They have taken their dark barren hopelessness and made it a light in a child’s life. I know a mommy that has 3 of her own children but still grew her family all the way from the Congo. I know countless mommies that have opened their home and hearts to motherless babies and children. Thank you for showing the world who Christ is. Often times, being a mom is the best platform to spread the message of Christ to everyone around us.

Being a mother should be celebrated. I challenge every woman to embrace that which has been given. It’s not something to be ashamed of and it’s not a crutch, it’s a gift!

“As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you.” Isaiah 66:13


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The Gift of a Child

“This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths lying in a manger.” (Luke 2:12)

 

My oldest daughter just had a birthday. She is now 11 years old. Baby girl, turn young woman over night.  She loves Christmas. It’s appropriate since her name in Hebrew means Christmas tree. She was an unexpected, unplanned surprise for her daddy and me. We were young, ill-equipped and unmarried. But we had love.

Natalie was not planned by her parents but she was carefully knit together by a Master Craftsman. He intended her to be just as she is. We delight and marvel at what a precious young woman she is blossoming into.

Whenever my children’s birthdays come around, I always get a little melancholy, reminiscing of their milestones, their challenges, memories of dance recitals and their first time riding a bike. I think of how much joy and delight I have in them, how precious their lives are to me, and how much God has blessed me to be the one that they are entrusted to.

Then I think: our God loves us like that too, but even more so. “As a mother comforts her child so I comfort you.” (Isaiah 66:13)  As grand as my love is for my children, even on my “best mommy” day, my love does not compare to God’s.

And even if you are not a mother, you still love and, therefore, understand the grand-scale love I am talking about. It’s a kind of love worth fighting for, a love that requires sacrifice and attention. Yet, this love still falls short of the tremendous, wondrous, extraordinary, exalted, magnified love of our Abba, Father God!

I know without hesitation that my greatest earthly blessings are my children and husband. I know what a gift each child’s life is. I have learned more about God’s love for me through the tough lessons of motherhood. All the while, I know I am not doing this alone but with a Creator who knows my innermost thoughts because He crafted me carefully as well.

I find it absolutely perfect when I think about how God’s love story for all of His creation unfolds. What does God choose to do to win back his people? The solution was lying in a manger. “A child born to us.” (Isaiah 9:6) A child! The greatest example of pure love was given to us by our God. He gave us His own child, a son, so that we may have life.

As a mother, I have given life. I continue to give my life, but I cannot comprehend giving my child’s life. That is how we know God’s love. He found us worthy of such a sacrifice. “And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, and Prince of Peace.” (Isaiah 9:6)

Sarah

Sarah Apa


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The Fantasy vs. The Nitty Gritty

fresh shower“Blessed is she who believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her.” Luke 1:45

When I was younger, I imagined accepting an Academy Award for Best Actress. My life as an “adult” is much less glamorous. I now role-play in my shower time (literally the only time of day my kids leave me alone!) that my housewife, stay-at-home mother-of-three lifestyle is picture perfect.

I fantasize about how romantic my relationship is with my husband. In my daydreams, he is a perfect gentleman and meets all my emotional needs with sensitivity and affection. I have the three most well behaved children who are polite and quiet.

I envision myself perfectly put together like one of those Stepford wives complete with heels, pearls and apron, and polished off with perfectly coiffed hair, ruby red lips and immaculately manicured nails. My waistline appears as though I had never had children, and I have not one frown line upon my brow.

I smile and hum as I create five-course meals for my family daily. I have patience with my children, I teach them with grace and confidence and I always know what to say.

I am submissive and respectful to my husband, delighting in taking second place to his wants and needs and bowing to the needs of the children. I cook, clean and sew, and I am of service to my church as I volunteer for everything!

Behind closed doors after the little angels are tucked safely into their beds, I still have the energy and desire to be intimate with my husband. I guess you could say I have it all together.

Jealous? Don’t be. It’s not even close to the reality I’m living.

Here’s the real picture.  I have a great relationship with my hubby. But most days it’s not without effort from both of us. My husband and I have been married for 10 years. We have three children who are not exactly perfect, but they sure are loads of fun, quite compassionate and delightfully energetic!

My waistline looks like I have carried three children, maybe more. I definitely like to put myself together when I leave the house, and I especially like Sunday morning as it is an excuse to dress nicely and feel pretty for once rather than being covered in food, sweat and snot. Most days I’m lucky to get a shower.

I do make three meals a day for the five of us, sometimes more, because my little boy, my youngest, is the PICKIEST eater EVER!

I can assure you I do not always do these things with a smile on my face. Sometimes these daily tasks are met with disdain as I recall doing the exact same thing the day before.

What? I’m supposed to feed them every day? Yes, and that’s exactly what I do. Some people would define this as insanity: doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. And that’s how I feel most days—insane. There’s never enough of me to go around. By the end of the day I have very little left to give.

Then the real torture sets in. The guilt. I should have done better. Why did I overeat? Why couldn’t I have had more patience? Why didn’t I say this? Why did I say that? Why couldn’t I be everything everyone needs me to be?!

After all the groveling has passed, I remind myself of some simple truths. I may not “feel” like I am enough, but I am.  God would not have entrusted so much to me if He hadn’t thought I could do it…with His help, of course.

In fact, He has given me the task to raise up these three children and to be the best wife I can be so that I can learn to lean on Him rather than trying to bear it alone (2 Corinthians 12:9).

I will experience defeat at the end of each day that I choose to do this task by myself. Or I can take the strength that is found only in knowing Christ, and I can choose to live in the corner of His bountiful grace.

That way, when I do stumble in the depths of motherhood—this sacred work that has been entrusted to me, to mold these little people into big instruments for God’s use—I can know for certain that it requires help.

How could I possibly think that I could do such a momentous job without the guidance and wisdom spoken from God’s Holy word? Very simply, I can’t. At least, I can’t do it with the intension of raising them as Godly offspring (Malachi 2:15).

So I step out of the shower. Once I dry off, wipe the mirror down, and take a look at my reflection, I realize that the five minute daydream about how I wish life were is not so appealing after all. My children hear the water stop and rush into my bathroom, and I count my blessings as I sit in this unglamorous, messy, beautiful, exhausting, deep-soul-work job of motherhood. It is then that I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

Sarah

Sarah Apa