Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. ~John 8:32

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Too Heavy to Carry

Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is — his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

If someone had told me a year ago that I would be living in El Paso, I would have laughed in their face! To top that, if someone had told me two years ago that I would have a third child, be homeschooling my kids and getting ready to plant a church, I would probably have smacked them!

Just this past year my husband was finally given the go sign (that would be by me) to explore the possibility of joining the military. After a long, grueling few months of paperwork and interviews, Anthony was accepted into the United States Army as a pharmacist.

From there, our lives have been moving at rapid speed. I have to be honest — I’m totally overwhelmed! We arrived last week in El Paso and nothing has gone as planned. Complications keep arising, and my husband and I are feeling a lot of pressure. The weight of responsibility rests right on my shoulders! I literally can’t stand up straight because I’m so “heavy” with stress and worry.IMG_8837

But just today as the children and I were reading the day’s focus verse in school, I was reminded of how I need to approach all of the chaos. Jesus says that his “yoke is easy” and his “burden is light” (Matthew 11:30). I am not in control of any of the current circumstances. There is only so much that Anthony and I can do.  But isn’t that the truth? Aren’t we expected to do our part but then step aside and let God take over the rest?

When we decided to wear Christ in baptism, when we emerged from that water, we made a bold commitment that states: “When life is too heavy, we will choose to  carry only the burden of Christ.” His load is light compared to the constant, pounding pressures that the world burdens us with. After this week, it is crystal clear that I’m not strong enough to withstand the pressures of this world. Dear sisters, I am grateful. I can’t handle it — and I don’t have to. Guess what? Neither do you!

As sisters in Christ, let us boldly profess that we will not be conformed to the world’s expectations. Let us accept ourselves exactly as we are at this moment, not perfect but progressing. Let us wear the easy, smooth yoke set before us by a Savior who is in love with us!

Sarah

Sarah Apa


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Five Ways to Be Still and Know

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
Psalm 46:10

I often read the first part of the verse above and respond in one of the following ways.

  • “But I’m so willing to help you, Father, and you know how much there is to be done.”
  • “I will, as soon as I finish this important task.”
  • “Oh, just wait until you hear. I’m doing so much less than usual. This time last week I had seven major projects in the works. I’ve cut that back to only three. I’ll be able to take a break as soon as those are under control.”
  • “It’s obvious that you’re referring to worldly efforts. What I’m doing is the work of your church.”
  • “Ok. But just let me tell you one more thing. My cousin needs comforting…oh, and my friend has that test coming up…and don’t forget my sister’s request for your intervention…”

Do any of these sound familiar to you? If so, I hope it helps to know that you’re not alone. Let’s not despair. Just keep reading for ways to change unhealthy habits.

Be Still and KnowIf we could still our minds long enough to hear God’s entire thoughts in this verse we would learn that not only does He want me to allow Him to be God, He goes on to say that when we do, He is “exalted among the nations…”

When I am in the throes of conflict, temptation, or depression it is hard for me to trust God to be in charge. As is said in 12-step programs, one of the most powerful things we can do is to “Let go and let God.”

But our culture demands that we be ever productive, striving toward first one goal and then another. After all, we don’t want to be a burden on others by not carrying our own weight. How can we possibly “be still” when we have so many responsibilities?

Here are a few ways to clear the path toward regular periods of stillness.

  1. Share the joy of service. When I call upon a loved one to serve alongside me, I am offering her the chance to experience the satisfaction that comes with a life well lived. I suffer from infrequent bouts of positional vertigo. At times it interferes with my driving. One day I called a sister-in-Christ to see if she could take me to a doctor’s appointment. When explaining to me that she could not she thanked me for asking her. I got off the phone feeling better than when I was dialing her number, filled with the dread of asking. I quickly dialed another sister’s number before the evil one could dissuade me. She would be happy to take me, she said, then she thanked me for asking.
  2. Think in bite-size portions of time. Sometimes I can talk myself out of doing something because I try to take on too much at once. If I tell myself that my quiet time with God has to last an hour to be worth anything to Him, I’m buying into one of the lies the evil one uses to isolate me from God. Even if I’m in the middle of an important assignment at work, I can often take a few seconds to close my eyes, take a deep breath and repeat the above verse in my mind. This not only allows me a moment to center my focus on Him, it can also result in better performance of my job.
  3. Step away from the distractions of this world. Treat yourself to time without the television, iPod or cell phone so that you can listen for the Holy Spirit’s urgings. There is nothing inherently evil about any of these forms of communication, but they distract us from our goal when we set apart time to be still.
  4. Be intentional and make quiet time a priority. We schedule dentist appointments, car maintenance and lunch dates. Why not schedule our quiet time with the Lord? Of course, simply entering QT into our calendars won’t guarantee that we make these meetings. It will then be up to us to defend and protect that commitment against potential intruders and usurpers. It is up to us to show up.
  5. Think about what is keeping you from being still. Are you afraid to trust our God to take care of things while you’re off duty? Are you in fear of missing an “important” deadline? Are you terrified that you might find out that you are not the one in control? Fear can rob us of our joy. Put your foot down and remind yourself that the God who set the stars in the sky and the earth on its axis is big enough to handle any of our fears, even those thrown at us by the evil one.

 

Now say the verse above and wallow in the promise in the second part. If we focus on Him alone and are confident in His role as God, we will change the world. We don’t have to understand how this will work itself out; we just have to be obedient and take Him at His word.

Dear God, I love you and praise you for being who you are and for loving me as I am while calling me to greater heights. Give me the courage and the willingness to trust you completely. Thank you for using me to impact others. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Cindy

Cindy Phiffer


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Ever just need a hug?

Praise the Lord; praise God our savior! For each day he carries us in his arms. Psalm 68:19 (NLT)

HugsThis morning I experienced a little heartbreak. My husband was on his way out the door then stopped and asked me a question. Looking back I wish my answer could have just been “yes.” But I’m one of those “high maintenance” people and a one word answer is never good enough, so as is my habit, “yes” was just the tip of the iceberg of my answer. I elaborated by adding my logic and reasoning to support my “yes.” To me, the words that followed my “yes” were important, revealing, intimate and personal; something that I would only trust to my closest friend.   I thought I was being brave and loving and more open with my husband than I usually was. This was a big step for me; it’s something I’ve been striving to improve in our relationship: communication.

But instead of the loving affirmation I expected, he made a sound, like a grumble that made me think he didn’t like what I said. I asked him what was wrong and he said he did not understand me. So I tried again to explain myself and was careful to select different words and not just repeat myself. I wanted him to listen and understand this part of me that I was revealing to him. But my words weren’t getting the reaction I wanted. He appeared to be disgusted with me and I felt like he was angry at me. He sounded incredulous that I could be the way I described. It felt like he was ashamed of me. He was rejecting who I was, how I thought, and my truth. It hurt.

And he left the house shaking his head and muttering something I couldn’t hear. I stood there with a lump in my throat. Now what do I do? This was just a simple interchange between a husband and a wife, so innocent and insignificant. Why did it hurt me so much?

For one thing, after working through the eight recovery principles of Celebrate Recovery, I’m more aware of my feelings than ever before. I learned how to be still and feel my feelings rather than use food to cover them up. But I don’t like to hurt so what else can I do to ease the painful feeling?

First I said a little quick prayer, something like “Please God, help me.”   Then as I drove to work, I reviewed the facts of what happened. This exchange took place early in the morning as we were rushing to get ready to leave for work. I know that is not the ideal time for a deep, meaningful conversation. He asked a simple yes or no question and I made the choice to provide a lengthy response. Maybe he didn’t reject me, but just didn’t have time to listen and respond the way he wanted to?

Still I held on to the hurt and felt like I needed a hug. Then I remembered that God delights in me (Psalm 18:19) and wants to care for me like a mother hen protects her chicks under her wings (Matthew 23:37). So many times over the five decades of my life I have needed a hug and didn’t know how to ask for one. But God had his arms wrapped around me the whole time!

Ramona2

Ramona Taylor


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Are You on Team Grumblers or Team Grateful?

The Lord spread a cloud above them as a covering and gave them a great fire to light the darkness. They asked for meat, and he sent them quail; he satisfied their hunger with manna — bread from heaven. Psalm 105:39-40 (NLT)

bread-baked - blue cloth-hands-reducedCan you imagine getting up in the morning and finding that God has already prepared your breakfast? If I could see the manna spread out over the grass in my yard, not only would I be thinking, “Oh, wow, somebody else did the prep today!” but also, “Yay, no cleanup!”

However, I suspect that if I had to eat the same thing every morning for the foreseeable future, I’d be right there on the bench with the Israelite Team Grumblers. I’m not exactly into the whole let-somebody-else-decide-what-to-eat-every-morning thing, especially if it’s a constant diet of bread with nary a jar of jelly in sight!

What I am definitely into, though, is the thought that my God loves me enough to provide for my every need. That’s an awesome reality that I too often forget.

I don’t have to see manna spread on the ground every day to know that I cannot provide for my own needs, but it would certainly be a constant reminder. I desperately need to keep my mind centered on God and his never failing provision for me. Sadly, I often ignore the daily reminders he sends.

And it’s not just food he provides. He does that in great abundance, but he does so much more. As Nehemiah 9:19-21 tells us, “Because of your great compassion you did not abandon them in the wilderness. By day the pillar of cloud did not fail to guide them on their path, nor the pillar of fire by night to shine on the way they were to take. You gave your good Spirit to instruct them. You did not withhold your manna from their mouths, and you gave them water for their thirst. For forty years you sustained them in the wilderness; they lacked nothing ….”

Even when we’re more like the Israelites than we’re willing to admit, he is faithful to give us everything we need. Not only does he provide for all our physical needs, he also gives us His good Spirit, he has great compassion on us, he lights our way, he never fails us, he never abandons us. In other words, we lack nothing.

When we stay focused on His unlimited provision for us, we can quit grumbling and put on our Team Grateful jerseys!

Father, forgive me when I grumble and complain. Help me to be grateful and praise you always for each blessing you shower on me. In the name of your precious Son, Jesus, Amen.

DeeBaker2 copy


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Beautiful Pain

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18

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She was born in mid-September at the Med in downtown Memphis. It was fast. She looked perfect. But hidden just beneath the surface was a tiny heart that was, oh, so broken!

Olivia Ann.

She has suffered more pain than most would ever endure in a lifetime. But like Jesus, her pain was not in vain. She had a very complicated heart defect. It required many surgeries that held no guarantees. By the time she was two years old, her tiny, fragile heart could no longer keep pace with her growing body, and she was placed on the heart transplant list.

Like Olivia’s heart, broken and underdeveloped, my spiritual heart was in the same condition. It wasn’t long after she entered the world that I began to understand some of the characteristics of God that my pain had kept me from seeing.

You see, I was broken from my childhood—scarred from abuse and living in a constant state of torment. I carried with me the pain that I had suffered and the choices I had made based on that abuse. Being witness to Olivia’s life and watching God faithfully restore her with a heart transplant gave me insight into why suffering is a beautiful part of life.

Jesus’s suffering on the cross was tremendous, bloody, the worst. Yet the beauty found just outside that pain is awesome, cleansing, the best. It’s life wrapped up in the highest of glory.

Olivia’s surgeries were terrifying, gruesome, the worst. But worth all the agony. She’s alive because of them. Her pain was my calling from God. His outpouring to reach me. I believe it was His attempt to restore my heart as well.

It’s been six years since Olivia received her new heart. After years of walking hand in hand with Christ through the pain of my childhood, I have discovered the deep connection between tremendous, life-changing pain, the daily pain of dying to yourself, and the gospel. Paul says it best in Romans 8:17: since we are “co-heirs with Christ,” we can experience his sufferings and share in the glory of that suffering!

I want to be transformed through the pains of life. That transformation brings purpose to the pain. As Philippians 3:10 says: “I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participate in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death….”

Sarah Apa

Sarah Apa


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Jumping Off the Wheel

“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” Matthew 6:24

Do you ever feel like “a confused hamster”? Would you like to get off that wheel?

girl-headphones-reducedWhen our boys were young, we went to a science museum that had an exhibit about sound. I sat in a booth and put on a set of headphones in which a different person was speaking on each side. No matter how hard I tried, I could not listen to both people at the same time. Our brains simply don’t work that way. I could listen to one side and then the other, but not both at the same time.

In Boundaries for Leaders by Henry Cloud, he states, “The research says when we multitask, our brains run in a hampered state. Basically multitasking reduces an astronaut’s brain to that of a confused hamster.”

One morning I was feeling particularly stressed and the day had only just begun. I wondered why reading the Bible verse on my bathroom mirror wasn’t helping. Then I saw myself in the mirror. I was brushing my teeth with one hand and brushing my hair with the other. I immediately put down my hairbrush and slowed down, thankful that I hadn’t confused the brushes!

When we try to keep our eyes on Jesus and on the evil one at the same time, we fall short. Our Lord wants our full attention, as does any loving father. The evil one wants to divert our attention from our Father. Nothing makes him happier than drawing us away from God’s will for our lives.

Let’s make a commitment right now that we will not give him a foothold by trying to divide our attention between him and Him. Jesus deserves our full attention. His heart pines for us to look toward Him so that He can lead us closer to our Father.

Cindy

Cindy Phiffer


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Good Thing I’ve Got a Solid Foundation!

stone-wall-reducedI will show you what it’s like when someone comes to me, listens to my teaching, and then follows it. It is like a person building a house who digs deep and lays the foundation on solid rock. When the floodwaters rise and break against the house, it stands firm because it is well built. Luke 6:47-48 (NLT)

I think it’s ironic that I’m introducing myself at a time when I’m struggling to keep my identity in focus. I feel like the rug has been pulled out from underneath me and my mind is spinning. But I still know one thing for sure, Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior, and He never changes. I can trust that Jesus will never leave me.

I am from the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains in Eastern Kentucky. My family tree includes Irish immigrants, Native Americans, Civil War oppositionists, moonshiners, unrepentant sinners, talented musicians, natural medicine healers, faithful Christians, productive farmers, coal miners, military veterans, and story tellers.

And my family tree is not too healthy right now. For the past three years, a big part of my life has been serving as the guardian for my disabled mother and she just died. Momma had a stroke that left her with brain damage so severe that she was unable to walk or talk. But for me, the worst part was that she couldn’t communicate with us in any way: she couldn’t read or write or type or point to pictures or push buttons or nod or shake her head reliably. I think she felt trapped in her body and was just waiting to die. I felt sad and depressed the whole three years.

My father died suddenly in 1994 from a massive heart attack. His death was a shock. Is it because it was 20 years ago that his death doesn’t seem as bad as Momma’s death less than a month ago? I was sad and missed him, but I was younger and newly married and had so much to look forward to.

My own health isn’t the greatest. I have a few health issues related to my lifestyle, my age and my family history: arthritis, diabetes, obesity, and cardiovascular disease. My default behavior is to eat something to make me feel better. My brain seems to always be “on” and the noise in my mind is constant but quiets down when I’m eating.

Right now I feel scatterbrained. What an appropriate word to express what is going on inside my head…I can’t seem to focus my thoughts. If you ask me a question, it doesn’t matter how simple, I feel lost. My memory will just go blank and I can’t think of what to say. At other times, I have too much to say and provide much more information than is necessary or appropriate. This is not like me and probably is because I’m under stress right now.

Stress? Everybody has stress. I’ve had stress in the past and came through just fine. I know how to trust Jesus to carry me as I’m working through all this stress. Let me make a list (because making lists brings me comfort):

  1. Momma died and now there’s a will to probate and final guardianship reports to be filed.
  2. My only sibling, my younger brother, was in a freak accident last Saturday night and has 2nd and 3rd degree burns on his feet. He’s in a burn unit receiving an experimental wound covering because he has diabetes and is not a candidate for a skin graft.
  3. My only child, a son, will be a senior in high school starting next week. He turned 18 last week and has to register for the draft. He plans to attend college in another town and move away from home next year.
  4. The division in which I work is experiencing many retirements, promotions and organizational changes. My office was physically moved to a new location last week. I’m working out of boxes and trying to settle in while still being productive.
  5. My husband and I will celebrate our 24th wedding anniversary this year. I’m almost to the point where I can admit my expectations as a new bride were unreasonable. Yet I’m still working on molding him into the potential man I expected him to become.
  6. I recently placed membership at the West Campus of North Boulevard church of Christ that meets at the new Farmer’s Market location on John Rice Boulevard. It’s new and growing and I’m getting connected.
  7. I have a routine of going to the YMCA at 5am to exercise in their indoor pool. The surprising announcement of its permanent closing means I’ve got to find a replacement pool. It depresses me because I know there’s no other pool available at 5 a.m. so this will require changing my entire morning schedule. I do not establish new habits easily.
  8. The Celebrate Recovery Step Study Group I’ve been attending every Friday night has completed and I’m not sure how to replace that weekly “port in the storm.”

 

I feel I have truly come unglued and qualify to contribute to this blog. I don’t necessarily think adding to my list of stressful changes by starting something new is going to be easy, but it is exciting. And I’m stepping out in faith knowing I have a solid foundation.

Ramona

Ramona Taylor


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Do You Know You Are Beloved?

What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it—we’re called children of God! That’s who we really are.  (1 John 3:1, The Message)

When was the last time someone looked deeply into your eyes and said you were greatly valued? That something you did was excellent? That you were worthy of their time or energy or friendship? That happened to me recently quite unexpectedly — unexpectedly enough that it caught me off guard and brought tears to my eyes.

The values I developed growing up were excellent, but what I seemed to miss was feeling valued. Being products of the Great Depression, my parents stayed extremely busy trying to make life better for their four daughters than it had been for them. One of the unintended consequences of that upbringing was a lack of emotional connection. We were taught to simply do the right thing and to be careful that we not think too highly of ourselves. I remember my mother saying that she didn’t want to brag on us or her grandchildren because she didn’t want us to “get a big head.”

What I didn’t understand I was missing until I became an adult was that basic need to feel special. All of us need to feel that we are valued and that we have the ability to accomplish great things. I’ve tended to do lots of things in my life, probably in some misguided attempt to prove my value — if only to myself. I’ve also doubted the talents God has given me, especially my creative abilities.

It’s taken years for me to come to the realization that my value to God is not in question. I am beloved of him simply because I’m his child. He created me to be exactly who I am with exactly the talents he wanted me to develop.

This year I decided to work on developing confidence in one of those talents by attending the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference (brmcwc.com). Although I asked myself what in the world I was doing there, I decided to sign up for a 15-minute evaluation session with conference co-director Edie Melson. That’s when it happened. When she read one of my attempts at blogging, looked deeply into my eyes and called me a very  good writer, I was brought to tears. I didn’t expect that. It certainly felt good, though.

At that point I decided I had doubted long enough. If God believed in me enough to entrust me with even a small measure of writing talent, then it was time for me to begin to develop it. It was time to admit that I do write and, therefore, I am a writer. I simply need to trust God for my confidence and my ability and keep putting pen to paper … or fingers to keyboard.

This incident also convinced me that I should be looking deeply into the eyes of others in my life to tell them how much I value them and how important they are in God’s story. I believe we could accomplish even greater things in His kingdom if we were to routinely hear that from the people around us.

Do you hear routinely from your family or friends how important and valued you are? Have you ever heard it?

Have you ever said it to someone else? Let’s give it a try this week and see what a difference we can make in someone else’s life.

The Lord will bless our efforts to bless others.

Please comment below how you’ve let others know they are beloved by God and by you or how others have done that for you.

Dee Baker

Dee Baker


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The Fantasy vs. The Nitty Gritty

fresh shower“Blessed is she who believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her.” Luke 1:45

When I was younger, I imagined accepting an Academy Award for Best Actress. My life as an “adult” is much less glamorous. I now role-play in my shower time (literally the only time of day my kids leave me alone!) that my housewife, stay-at-home mother-of-three lifestyle is picture perfect.

I fantasize about how romantic my relationship is with my husband. In my daydreams, he is a perfect gentleman and meets all my emotional needs with sensitivity and affection. I have the three most well behaved children who are polite and quiet.

I envision myself perfectly put together like one of those Stepford wives complete with heels, pearls and apron, and polished off with perfectly coiffed hair, ruby red lips and immaculately manicured nails. My waistline appears as though I had never had children, and I have not one frown line upon my brow.

I smile and hum as I create five-course meals for my family daily. I have patience with my children, I teach them with grace and confidence and I always know what to say.

I am submissive and respectful to my husband, delighting in taking second place to his wants and needs and bowing to the needs of the children. I cook, clean and sew, and I am of service to my church as I volunteer for everything!

Behind closed doors after the little angels are tucked safely into their beds, I still have the energy and desire to be intimate with my husband. I guess you could say I have it all together.

Jealous? Don’t be. It’s not even close to the reality I’m living.

Here’s the real picture.  I have a great relationship with my hubby. But most days it’s not without effort from both of us. My husband and I have been married for 10 years. We have three children who are not exactly perfect, but they sure are loads of fun, quite compassionate and delightfully energetic!

My waistline looks like I have carried three children, maybe more. I definitely like to put myself together when I leave the house, and I especially like Sunday morning as it is an excuse to dress nicely and feel pretty for once rather than being covered in food, sweat and snot. Most days I’m lucky to get a shower.

I do make three meals a day for the five of us, sometimes more, because my little boy, my youngest, is the PICKIEST eater EVER!

I can assure you I do not always do these things with a smile on my face. Sometimes these daily tasks are met with disdain as I recall doing the exact same thing the day before.

What? I’m supposed to feed them every day? Yes, and that’s exactly what I do. Some people would define this as insanity: doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. And that’s how I feel most days—insane. There’s never enough of me to go around. By the end of the day I have very little left to give.

Then the real torture sets in. The guilt. I should have done better. Why did I overeat? Why couldn’t I have had more patience? Why didn’t I say this? Why did I say that? Why couldn’t I be everything everyone needs me to be?!

After all the groveling has passed, I remind myself of some simple truths. I may not “feel” like I am enough, but I am.  God would not have entrusted so much to me if He hadn’t thought I could do it…with His help, of course.

In fact, He has given me the task to raise up these three children and to be the best wife I can be so that I can learn to lean on Him rather than trying to bear it alone (2 Corinthians 12:9).

I will experience defeat at the end of each day that I choose to do this task by myself. Or I can take the strength that is found only in knowing Christ, and I can choose to live in the corner of His bountiful grace.

That way, when I do stumble in the depths of motherhood—this sacred work that has been entrusted to me, to mold these little people into big instruments for God’s use—I can know for certain that it requires help.

How could I possibly think that I could do such a momentous job without the guidance and wisdom spoken from God’s Holy word? Very simply, I can’t. At least, I can’t do it with the intension of raising them as Godly offspring (Malachi 2:15).

So I step out of the shower. Once I dry off, wipe the mirror down, and take a look at my reflection, I realize that the five minute daydream about how I wish life were is not so appealing after all. My children hear the water stop and rush into my bathroom, and I count my blessings as I sit in this unglamorous, messy, beautiful, exhausting, deep-soul-work job of motherhood. It is then that I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

Sarah

Sarah Apa

 


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Welcome to the Mask-free Zone

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.  ~John 8:32

Hey, y’all! I’m Cindy Phiffer and you have arrived at the blog written with women in mind. Coming Unglued: Getting rid of those pesky masks! is a way for regular contributors Sarah Apa, Darlene Baker and myself along with guest contributors to talk with you about things that matter to women of all ages. In the spirit of transparency, which you will come to expect from us, we range in life from a mother of three young children to a mother of two adult children to a mother of two adult children and grandmother of two grandbeauties.

We have all chosen Jesus as our greater power, and we got to know each other through Celebrate Recovery, a Christian 12-step program. As we each introduce ourselves over the coming months, you will find out about our family and church lives, our involvement in the community and our relationships with other women. We are each at different places in our lives, and I’d love to tell you a little bit about where I’m coming from.

I’m married to my best friend Jim Phiffer, and on August 17, 2015, we will celebrate our 30th anniversary. God has seen us through physical challenges, financial devastation and psychological debilitation. We have survived my husband’s job losses, my own psychiatric hospitalization, his suicide attempt and the deaths of our parents, three to natural causes and one to suicide. We both enjoy reading good books and playing music–him on the guitar and me on the piano. He loves the blues and I sing in a folk/inspirational trio with my siblings, The Flatt Sisters. We appreciate the fact that our Lord equipped us with the ability to play with words and neither of us has ever met a pun we didn’t like.

I’ve spent the past 25 years developing an incredibly strong network of women who love me as I love them. We pray for each other, standing in the gap when necessary and celebrating each others’ joys as well as grieving over each others’ losses. Three years ago when my husband had been out of work for two years, I realized the need for me to get a 9-5 (or in my case, 8-4:30) job with benefits. This was a monumental change for me, as I had spent the previous 20 years working as an independent contractor, writing, editing, indexing, and tutoring in art, writing, music and reading.

One of the benefits of my current job at Middle Tennessee State University is continuing my education. I get to take one free three-hour class per semester and I’m using those classes to finally earn my master’s degree in administration and supervision of higher education. Although I wondered if I could hang in there with students a third my age (I received my bachelor’s degree in music education from the University of Tennessee in 1978!), I have managed to juggle life with my studies and maintain an A average.

As we introduce ourselves, let us know who you are and what challenges you face as you gather the courage to unmask. Whatever you wrestle with, you can be assured of one thing—you are not alone.

Cindy Phiffer

Cindy Phiffer